The Phenomemeageddon

Created: September 27th, 2009
_____________________

This is my desktop background at the moment. I made it while talking to my pro-sauce friends!

Work in progress.

-------------------------------

Longcat vs. Tacgnol - How Chuck Norris Emerged From A Rogue Black Hole And Then Proceeded To Concentrate The Universes Awesome Into A Massive Conglomerate Shaped Most Likely Like A Tetradecagon Whilst Temporarily Delaying Phenomemeageddon

Longcat and Tacgnol have been at odds for many a year. However very recently it has become known that Longcat and Tacgnol are in fact, Chargin' Their Lazers. Now normally this wouldn't have been an issue, however! Longcat and Tacgnol just happened to begin Chargin' Their Lazers at the exact same time. Due to this mind boggling phenomenon by Longcat and Tacgnol to Charge Their Lazers simultaneously, Chuck Norris has decided to make a last stand in hopes to save all remaining Awesome in the world.

Shortly after emerging from a black hole (Chuck's official method of travel is via destroying universes and re-emerging in a parallel reality.) Chuck unleashed his fists of steel, beard of sincerity and roundhouse kicks of madness thus blowing open a seem in the universe. The plan was simple. Chuck would wait for the precise moment when Longcat and Tacgnol were finished Chargin' Their Lazers and were ready to fire. During these few crucial moments just after the release of the C.A.T.B.E.A.M.'s, Chuck in conjunction with Pedobear and an Authorization Waiver issued by the 4Chan Congressional Committee erected a massive Pedobear Seal of Approval.

There was but one chance to save the universe. A mere snap of Samuel L. Jackson's Twix bar could have caused a universal time lapse thus ending all Awesome as we knew it. But luckily, due to the popular universal religion of Pastafarianism, the Flying Spaghetti monster engulfed us in his glory; he had allowed Samuel L. Jackson to take a bite of his Twix whilst still allowing the carefully timed Pedobear Seal of Approval to take its position as temporary savior.

It was during this short interval that Chuck would need to suck all the universes Awesome through this small hole. After 96.535773344% of the worlds Awesome was expelled through this mysterious dark hole, the Pedobear Seal of Approval just couldn't gold any longer. The seal had broken but Chuck had managed to close the hole thus sealing the the newly acquired Concentrated Conglomerate of Awesome from the remaining universe.

Everything that was not sucked into this tiny hole is presumed obliterated.

A Googolplex years later...

The Concentrated Conglomerate of Awesome had soon emerged from the hole. Later investigations had revealed that while the Concentrated Conglomerate of Awesome had only spent about 3 and a half weeks in the hole, in actuality, a Googolplex years had passed! Whilst in this hole, many of the Awesome people and ideas got bored. Thankfully, while still a little known fact, Rick Astley was able to conjure up Stratego as well as a crudely manufactured Karaoke machine to assist in passing the time during these miserable 3 and a half weeks.

While 96.535773344% of the universes Awesome was able to make it through with Chuck in time, sadly, 3.45422656% couldn't make it. This 3.45422656% of Awesome contained such things as Bill Cosby's Zip Zop Zoobity Bop YouTube video, the entire 4Chan backup server and the Dramatic Chipmunk. While they, among others, will be missed by many, as time passes we will forget. It's only human nature to discard things that have occurred in the past due to our combined lack of caring and memory retention.

So instead of devoting 200 pages in a textbook most likely published by Prentice Hall, it has been decided that just 1 page will be printed in memory of that 3.45422656%. This page will read only 5 words - "Lol, sux to be them."

In other news, the Galactic Federation of Lolicats (GFL) as well as the Elite Lolidefense Force (ELF) has decided that this, "hole", that had originally Concentrated the Unconglomerated Awesome in the old Universe will now be known simply as the "Chuck Hole".

-------------------------------

The following Hall of Description shall commend these brave Awesomeites for their endeavors.

Longcat - For Chargin' his Lazer and aiming straight at Tacgnol

Tacgnol - For also Chargin' his Lazer and aiming straight at Longcat

Samuel L. Jackson - For being allowed to let the world bask in the glory of a freshly bitten Twix bar whilst still enabling the successful activation of the Pedobear Seal of Approval.

Bear Cavalry Trooper 1 & 2 - For commanding the frontlines on their ferocious Grizzly Bears.

Bill S. Preston & Theodore Logan - For bringing back Napoleon from the past in their Awesome phonebooth.

Phoenix Wright - For unneccessarily OBJECTING a overruled argument.

A Diamond Shaped Sign With Pedobears Face On It - For warning the children.

The 4Chan Party Van - For always being in the driveway across the street and not MY driveway.

Rick Astley - For never giving me up, for never letting me down, for never running around and deserting me. For never making me cry, for never saying goodbye, for never telling a lie and hurting me. Also, for his utilization of the color coded pie chart to produce a rough visual percentage of how much he values his various "Never Gonna"'s.

Pedobear - For withstanding constant pressure from both the F.B.I. (...and their cleverly disguised Party Van) and the E.L.F. as well as for shattering the innocence of trillions of children.

Ceiling Cat - For watching you masturbate.

That Small Plan Crashing Into A Building Similar To The Twin Towers - For exploding by any means whilst carrying Rosie O' Donald.

Patrick Swayze Rabbit - For surgically attaching his head to a small rabbit for the sake of the Conglomerate.

Kanye West Llama - For snorting nasty llama spit on Patrick Swayze when he comes within range.

Chris Hensen - For hosting a show that does nothing but humiliate pedophiles infront of millions of people. As well as for being able to cast MBarrier and for his pre photomanipulated sidewayness which just so happens to make him perfect for "Peeking Around A Door Frame" shots.

Leeroy Jenkins - For noticing that the thumbs were up and that it is now time to do this.

Kanye West - For just gotta letting' me know that the scenario at hand is probably the best one ever.